My name is Fr Kevin of the Most Blessed Trinity and I entered the Carmelites in 1955

I grew up as the youngest of seven in a strong Irish Catholic family. My father, Emmet Culligan, went on to found Culligan Water Treatment and we moved to California from Chicago when I was a child. The Catholic faith was everything in my family. We prayed the rosary each evening after dinner and, of course, attending Mass was a given. My parents were benefactors to many religious orders and so we always had priests and religious over the house. I felt right at home with them and very much respected the way they lived. I never felt a great draw to the life though. I liked having my girlfriends and playing basketball and had no intention of leaving that behind.

Something changed after my junior year when my older brother decided to join the Trappists. I was struck by this because he was a great athlete, played basketball in high school and college, and was not the kind of person I foresaw taking such a step. When I asked him why he joined he told me to read Seven Story Mountain by Thomas Merton. This had a huge impact on me. I found in Merton someone who I wanted to emulate, except I did not want to be a Trappist. In college I took a course on the poetry of the Spanish mystics and felt very drawn to St John of the Cross. I did not understand his writings, but felt a strong kinship with him. This helped to open me up to the idea of religious life as a real possibility.

When I visited my brother I was intrigued by the life of the Trappists. I especially loved the chanting and way of prayer. But deep down I knew this kind of life was not for me. Attending a Jesuit high school and college, the natural thing would be to become a Jesuit. I was close to several Jesuits whom I loved and respected, but something about their life made it clear it wasn’t for me. A friend of mine mentioned that there was this order, the Carmelites, who were a kind of an in between. Our main rival in school was Mt Carmel High though and so I knew I could never become a Carmelite. After I voiced this conviction, my friend reassured me that there was another group besides this, the Discalced Carmelites, to which St John of the Cross belonged. It led me to read the vocational book, “Men in Sandals” by a Discalced Carmelite, Fr Richard Madden. This had a great effect on me and I felt very drawn. During my sophomore year I began to think, ‘this is the path for me’. I contacted Holy Hill, made my application, and within a short time I was headed to the Novitiate.

In Carmel I have found everything I could ever have wanted out of the Christian life: A deep prayer life, a supportive community, and a life giving ministry. I have had the privilege of doing Carmelite ministry in all the continents except Antarctica. I have held any number of offices in the order and have met the most wonderful people. The feminine genius which I have found in Carmel has also been an unexpected blessing. The friendships I have developed with our sisters and the saints has been a beautiful and enriching part of my life.

The advice I would give to a young man who is discerning is to surround yourself with good people, especially those who are already in religious life. These contacts help you see what the life is all about. Also, delve into the Carmelite saints and spirituality. They express better than anyone the gift of Carmel. And don’t be afraid of the commitment. There is still a lot of discernment after one enters formation. I figured I could always leave the novitiate and discern marriage if I wasn’t called, but I couldn’t leave marriage and discern religious life the other way around! Though I have to say that in all these years I have never seriously considered leaving; deep down I know I have found my home. There is no where else I’d rather be.